Have you ever been driving and you just well up? Sitting there making dinner and it hits you? Wake up in the middle of the night and just start crying for no reason?
It is maddening to not know the meaning behind the tears. Especially when you have been the strong one for so long. Not letting the little things get in your way, always smiling and telling people I am great how are you? Because in reality if I were to say, ” I am depressed, I miss my parents, I miss the thought of family get together’s, I miss my daughter not knowing my parents more” most people would politely smile and run away. That is the unfortunate thing about society everyone wants to be in your business but no one wants to help you through it. Then unfortunately we read about you in the paper or hear about you in text message…. Did you hear what happened to ________________? I guess he/she couldn’t deal with life anymore, or he/she went crazy and checked into a facility or worse he/she is missing left his/her family and all.
Well I have felt the tears out of the blue and believe me it is not fun. I have been sitting at my desk at work and just start crying have to get up shut my door or hurry to the bathroom. I have been cooking dinner and eyes get glassy, or driving home when all I want to do is pick up the phone and talk about my day to my momma. It was our thing because many nights once I walk in the house its non stop mom this or mom that. I just want 15-20 mins of quality catch up time with my momma and daddy if he was up to talking. To know I will never talk to them again until I reach heaven is probably the hardest thing to grasp. To not get the nod or hug of approval on an accomplishment well done. You know what pisses me off the most????? People that have their parents and don’t appreciate it. I know some of you reading this might have other struggles with parents and I get it and respect it. But for the ones that don’t have issues why are you not calling them daily, visiting more frequently, appreciating the little things now cause let me tell you something…….. I would give a limb to have one more call, one more hug or one more day with my parents.
I ask this if you still have your parents please make an extra effort this holiday season to reach out more, make a mends if you are not 100% speaking. You only get one blood set of parents and make it count!